Winter solstice

[NatureLover]

Hi @Dimity , glad the hospital visits were due diligence and it was all OK. 

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@Dimity wrote:

I saw the physio who diagnosed nerve pain - entrapment - so sceptical me wonders if repeat visits for physical therapies are warranted or likely to be useful. And my self stigma is very strong.

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Yes, I see. Sorry to hear - nerve pain is particularly painful I think, plus takes ages to heal? 😢

And what do you mean by "self stigma"?

[Dimity]

@NatureLover @Appleblossom I've done a little gym work but only been to a physio once before  decades ago. I feel othered by medical people, that my mh is judged and makes me ridiculous,  repulsive, unworthy.

It goes back a long way. There was little sympathy or care for childhood illnesses and aftercare for my unsuccessful eye surgeries was traumatising and neglectful and may have contributed to their failure. 

I've been confused by the hospital tests. I read the reports which seemed to confirm a mild heart problem and I was told to continue with heart and BP meds but my gp says I'm fine. I was cleared re stroke, not that I thought I'd had one, but my psychologist had insisted on calling an ambulance. 

[Appleblossom]

Hearing you @Dimity about being otherised within health system due to MH stigma.

I had eye issues growing up, not as bad as you, but still it can be invasive ...

It was probably best to go through with the tests, tho I dont know what happened that made psychologist want to call the ambulance.

Being on BP meds can be seen as stable heart disease, and Gp may have been trying to reassure you. Only you knoww if it was dismissive or patronising.  I am using the 4 balls and you are out method ... in deciding about who to keep on my health team.  My old Gp is out.  Glad I met this new guy yesterday to get health care plan.  He was a gently singing doctor.

This afternoon I went to my old osteo.  Someone I have seen for over 20 years and say, she has saved my life.  I only see her 4-5 times per year now, but health care is a tricky business to navigate.

Hugs

[NatureLover]

Really sorry to hear about your negative medical experiences @Dimity  😢

That does sound confusing re your mild heart problem. Could you ask the GP to clarify? 

[Dimity]

I might be seeing a cardiologist @NatureLover @Appleblossom ... I'm waiting to hear if I've got an appointment. 

I'm a bit foggy at the moment and I'm not getting much done. My sister isn't well but I'm not able to help by walking her dogs, they're too big for me and not trained well. So I feel a bit useless. 

[Appleblossom]

Not useless @Dimity 

Sorry about cardiologist appointment.  Would be worrying, but possibly a door open to having your health monitored and cared for.

Maybe your sister needs to do some reality checking about keeping large dogs.  I am very careful not to extend in that area, though I love a good big dog, but somebody elses.

[NatureLover]

I agree, not useless, @Dimity ...I find your support invaluable. 

Sounds like a cardiologist appt would settle the confusion, that's good. 

[Dimity]

Thanks @NatureLover @Appleblossom .

My support worker is finishing up this week. She's usually the only person I see week in week out, and has helped with some things but not others. I haven't asked my gp about getting a new psychologist.  I rang a helpline a while back when particularly low. 

It's hard to see the way forward. The helpline suggested I'm experiencing a form of financial abuse... I dunno, probably not, but it's complicated.

Meanwhile my hyacinths are flowering... I have 3 pots of different colours.

I hope the weekend brings more clarity.   

[NatureLover]

Your hyacinths sound lovely...I love colour. @Dimity 

I really hope you aren't suffering financial abuse, as I know your finances are a problem and more money would really make a difference to your life. 

Could you try running your financial situation by another helpline counsellor maybe, to see if they also think it might be financial abuse? There is also the  Ethics Helpline , run by The Ethics Centre...

So your helper has had her last session with you now? That leaves you a bit adrift, maybe...I'm sorry to hear.

Sending warm hugs... 💚

[Appleblossom]

@Dimity Hey Lovely, I enjoy "our company".  I am not sure what to say about financial abuse, but talk it out with people who know about that stuff, an advisor of some kind.  It can be about what you are paying for, or not actually getting ... I guess.

The eye surgeries may easily have lead to mental health issues and is deepy personal about how we look, feel and see the world and impact self esteem.  

Do you have a support co-ordinator or other kinds of supports that might fill in the gap of your regular worker?

Wishing you the best with the medical issues.  You deserve good health care.