Contamination thoughts

[creative_writer]

@rav3n I think it’s best I sleep. I hope you have a restful night 💖

[creative_writer]

I think I’ll need to go home to take a PRN. I’m frustrated that it’s hard to concentrate, contamination thoughts keep coming and it triggers self harm and suicidal thoughts. I’m safe. I want to get uni stuff done but my brain isn’t cooperating. I have finished the 3hr class for today

[Ru-bee]

Hey @creative_writer that would be really frustrating to have this distracting you from uni, but it sounds like focusing on being safe needs to be the top priority right now so going home and taking your PRN might be a good idea if that's what's going to help you most. 

Going to a 3hr class while simultaneously managing this is a huge effort so good on you for doing that.  

[creative_writer]

@Ru-bee I’ve just had my lunch. I need to make a cuppa and will be leaving uni shortly. I just hope the agitation settles, I’m exhausted from my mind being on overdrive

[Ru-bee]

Yeah of course that would be exhausting @creative_writer 

Glad you've had a chance to eat and have a cuppa. Sounds like it's been a pretty tough morning but you got through it. Is there anything nice you can do to show yourself some extra care when you get home?

I hope your mind's able to give yourself a bit of a rest once you're back home. If it's not though, remember you can always reach out to Lifeline or SCBS for more support, and I'm around today too

[creative_writer]

@Ru-bee I prefer to eat my lunch at uni as opposed to PT. They also have hot water at uni, comes in handy when you bring your own matcha. It’s so much cheaper bringing your own. It is still my guilty splurge. To be honest, I think I would be non-functional without out. I need my caffeine. I haven’t ever gotten a neuropsych assessment for ADHD, but I have been told I show signs of it. It’s just complicated being on stimulants with bipolar.

I’ll probably change and wash my face. Feels nice to get makeup off. Might have a quick snack too once I’m back. Probably shouldn’t be eating the PRN on an empty stomach. I do have a while left till I’m home. I could also make a herbal cuppa when I’m back and some coconut water would be good too.

I’m wearing my sunglasses right now. I feel very sensitive to light. It can be a migraine trigger and cause more agitation

[Ru-bee]

Sounds like a lovely self-care plan @creative_writer 

Isn't taking your makeup off the best feeling? For me it's like a signal to myself that the day is done and it's time to relax 

Do you drink matcha often? I've tried it a little bit but am not quite sold on the taste, I've heard it gives a much steadier release of caffeine than coffee and is generally a bit better for you so I'd like to give it a go. Any tips on the best ways to have it?

[creative_writer]

@Ru-bee there is something refreshing about washing your face. I try to keep it light with makeup and use a lightweight sunscreen, but I feel lighter when I wash my face.

I drink matcha twice a day with a pinch of saffron. I’m sort of used to the taste. I do like adding ginger too. Honey is amazing if you want to sweeten it. It is way better than coffee, it’s more steady and better on a sensitive stomach. Good quality is also important

[Ru-bee]

Ooohh adding the saffron, so fancy @creative_writer! I think I'd need to try it with honey, maybe I'll go and buy some and give it a go because coffee definitely is no friend to my tummy, or my anxiety, and yet I crave that caffeine ☕

[creative_writer]

@Ru-bee I justify buying matcha and saffron by telling myself it’s good for me. I am a believer that having a good diet can be healing. I eat honey on a daily basis, we always have honey at home. I love it in tea. I also get hay fever, so it’s good to have it in the pantry.

I can only tolerate weak coffee in the morning or my stomach throws a tantrum. I used to be able to drink up to two cups, anything more would trigger a migraine and destabilise my mental health