also wanted to encourage you to please reach out to these services tonight: 

Lifeline 13 11 14 https://www.lifeline.org.au/ 
Lifeline Text Support 0477 131 114 https://www.lifeline.org.au/crisis-text/ 
Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467 
https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/ 
If feeling unsafe, please contact 000

i know you've mentioned its hard to reach out especially when you need it most, and i just wanted to remind you that you don't deserve to go through this alone. we care about you and want to make sure you're heard and supported. you are NEVER a burden for reaching out 💗