I hear you @The-red-centaur I think the thought of working towards recovery can feel overwhelming. Take it back a notch, try not to think too far ahead. Just focus on today, focus on small things. When those thoughts start creeping in, slap em away and redirect your focus to anything else--art/people/making things/eating/anything. Do anything else to disrupt that thought process. Doesn't have to be big, even just like brushing your teeth, doing a lap up and down the hall, literally anything. When those thoughts flare up you do anything but listen to them. Just don't get caught up thinking down the road, you don't needa worry about it. Just focus on the little things, eat/sleep/talk/make, that's all. Nothing else. I know it's not easy Centaur, you've come so far, you've survived so much, you deserve to survive this too