@The-red-centaur It has been some time since we have connected and you have made some major changes in your life since then. I know you moved across the country to try to reconnect with family and to try to start a new life but that has not eventuated how you had hoed it would ...but that does not mean you cannot make a life for yourself where you are. That of course takes a lot of effort and time to do but first you need to find yourself, who you are, who you want to be and follow the dreams you have had. That is a big thing to do though and does take time and support. 

I can certainly hear your struggles and disappointments with how things have turned out but I can also see you reaching out and connecting with us here - and that for me shows you are not completely giving up as by continuing to talk here, find support here and connect here you are finding just a little hope in aongst all that darkness. Keep reaching out for that support because you are worth being supported and worth being able to get the help to find a way forward.