(not actually) Coping with things.

[The-red-centaur]

Yeh. @hanami I have. It didn't help much but we might be going for a drive this morning as a distraction.  

[Former-Member]

Hey, sorry you're feeling so overwhelmed atm. I just wanted to say I really appreciate the compassion you showed me the other day especially considering how much is going on for you.

I think you put it better than I could:

I hope you find a way to continue, it's fcking hard, I get that, but life is beautiful with you in it. Someone out there cares for you too.

I hope you're afternoon is calmer.

[The-red-centaur]

@Former-Member I appreciate that post. I thank you for reminding me of that. I hope you're going OK too. 

My support worker took me out for coffee to the river. I'm feeling a little better, and I'm seeing my psychologist in less than an hour. 

 

[Former-Member]

I'm glad to hear that. I'm feeling a little better today thank you.

[The-red-centaur]

I'm really unwell at the moment. 

My psychologist didn't go well and I got really upset and hurt myself pretty bad. 

But I'll be OK. I think. I just feel so hopeless and overwhelmed.  I feel like I can't do it anymore,  but I'm safe and the hospital will help me out. 

[Former-Member]

Hey @The-red-centaur,

Sorry you're having such a horrible time, I hope you can find some peace this afternoon.

I still reckon you're pretty great and I'm glad you're getting some help.

[The-red-centaur]

@Former-Member thanks. 

I ended up sleeping most of the afternoon. 

I feel stuck, like there's no way forward.  But I know I've been here before amd can get through it. It just sucks. 

I'm so tired and overwhelmed,  I guess it's good I've been sleeping.  I have slept most of the day. 

I don't know what to do anymore. The Dr at the hospital wants to stop my meds because he thinks they're not helping and he doesn't think meds will help me anyway. I feel even more hopeless now. It feels like nothing will help. Like everyone has given up like I have. 

Sigh. I guess I should see what tomorrow brings. 

[The-red-centaur]

I'm anxious about seeing some specialists today. I did some damage and I'm waiting to find out if I can eat and drink normally. It sucks. 

I feel so overwhelmed. Like what's the point anyway. I've gone back so far I don't want to keep trying. I have regressed so far back into my DID and trauma that I'm losing touch with reality. I did a schema test with my psychologist on Monday and that was really triggering. I am ashamed of when I'll see her next after what happened on Monday. 

She tried to get me to go to hospital but I was so far gone I even ran away from home. 

I feel like the kid in me. She is scared and terrified and doesn't feel safe. I don't know how to soothe or calm myself and tell her she's ok. 

[Former-Member]

I'm sorry that sounds absolutely awful @The-red-centaur, if you wanna chat or just have someone listen I'm about.

[The-red-centaur]

@Former-Member thanks. I just don't know what to say. Maybe later.