Winter solstice

[Patches59]

@Dimity   With all the memories I started to become overwhelmed and struggled to do anything.  Still do at times but not as bad as I was.  Still feel very raw and easily triggered.

in hope of giving my mind something else to think about I started going through everything in each room but paced myself.  Some days I’ve got 3 or 4 things done, other days 1 or none.  Ive also had some number of days where, apart from feeding the cats, I’ve not gotten out of bed.  Part of the reason I’m hoping to start seeing a psychiatrist again.  

cycle will end with me to some degree as I don’t have siblings or children.  I see things with some of my cousins that are not ‘normal’ which leaves me with some concerns but nothing I can do about it.  

[Dimity]

I've sometimes been lost in memories and ruminating @Patches59 but for quite  a while I got lost in doomscrolling news and Facebook. I stopped that in hospital. Today I've been rattling around doing small jobs and resting.  Collecting Tiger was huge as was chatting to my nephew.

I'll need to restart going through my rooms and decluttering.  But first I'll have to look at the papers and bills that came in while I was sick.

I hope you can get a psychiatrist soon. In the meantime dealing with all those triggers is important.  Do you know where they come from? Can you ignore them or desensitise yourself to them? I realise they tend to flood your mind when they're happening so it's not easy. Your psychologist might have suggestions. 

I'll go to bed soon. I'd wanted to reset my body clock and being in hospital seems to have done that for me.

[Dimity]

I can't cope atm. My back is painful. I'll try to move from sitting on the sofa to going to bed. I'm tired and unwell. Someone will check in with me tomorrow.  I'm fed up with things.and can't see how to resolve everything that needs fixing. 

[NatureLover]

Sorry things were looking and feeling so bleak and hopeless and painful yesterday @Dimity 😥

Thinking of you and sending care... How are things today? 

I hope it helped, someone checking in with you today...

[Dimity]

Thanks @NatureLover . Yes some of my family are trying to check in on each other more, with a brief text each day.

Today was better thanks but I'm still not well. Hopefully things will continue to improve. 

Council home help can't do anything for another 2 1/2 weeks when I've already been waiting a long time. The quotes on garden and doorknobs haven't come through. I have to talk to a new gp tomorrow then the garden helper is coming in the afternoon.  I feel tired and muddled. And of course as usual overwhelmed. I'll tidy a bit more before bed but gosh I wish I could get on top of everything.

I didn't run the aircon today and it feels very sultry. I might turn it and the bedroom ceiling fan on for a while.

It would be nice to have someone to talk to. I spoke briefly to a neighbour today, first time in days. 

[NatureLover]

Oh gosh @Dimity  😥

I'm glad you had a better day despite still feeling unwell. 

I'm sorry you still have to wait a further 2 1/2 weeks for council help 😣

That seems like a really positive dvelopment with your family. 

Are you swopping GPs?

Good luck with the new GP and the garden helper today. I hope things aren't quite so overwhelming 🫂

[Dimity]

I seem to have been allocated to a new gp at the practice @NatureLover . My usual gp is very busy and booked a week in advance.

[Dimity]

My garden helper is here... hopefully she'll make a difference.  I think she's talking to the neighbours... 

[NatureLover]

How very unsettling about being allocated a new GP, @Dimity ! 😯

How did it go with the new one today? 

[Dimity]

She forwarded me a letter for my social worker but got some things wrong - one was a mistake by the other gp that obviously hadn't been corrected.  She's pleasant but I'm still unsure.

@NatureLover