My special place

[Snowie]

Thanks @rav3n 

Whilst all that makes sense and may be true, right now it is just darkness.

At the moment there's not much point.

[rav3n]

that's completely fair @Snowie, sitting in the darkness is tough when it comes to believing kind words. is there something that can perhaps act as a little candle for you in that darkness? maybe even something like cooking a lil treat? 

[Snowie]

@rav3n the question I ask is why bother

will it really make a difference

id probably get a reply like if you don't try you don't know. maybe so but not sure I can go in there.

Im sitting here by myself. H still away and both kids out.

[rav3n]

@Snowie i've asked myself that same question too. and like we mentioned earlier, when we're in that dark place, it's really hard to believe positive words. will it really make a difference? simply put- yes. i do think it'll make a difference. i can't promise you a big massive life-changing difference, sometimes it's so small or slow and you don't even notice the shift its making on your life. 

think of it like watering a plant, if you give that plant no water what so ever, there's almost no chance it'll be able to thrive. but even a small drop of water increases it's chances by heaps (opposed to no water at all). the amount of water you add, is in your hands, and i know it's tricky to do it but you won't be able to see or enjoy the fruits of your labour without being there to water it. does that metaphor make sense? apologies if it doesn't.

when's H coming back? are the kids coming home later tonight?

[Snowie]

Yes that metaphor makes perfect sense @rav3n 

I get that even the smallest amount of water can increase its chance of surviving.

I know that I make that choice

not sure about H. My S might be coming home, not sure yet. D isn't.

[Snowie]

I'm sorry @rav3n 

i've prob said too much

thanks for listening 

I hope your night and your weekend goes well

[rav3n]

the 'when' and 'how' much you water the plant will always be your choice, and it's okay if you can't water it everyday. maybe somedays you can give it some more water than others, and that's okay too. 

there are some plants that have gone through so much, that even if you don't water them for a bit, they still stand strong and wait for that drop of water. @Snowie 

it's okay to sit in that dark for a bit and turn on the lights when you feel ready. for me, i always found it really uncomfortable doing something nice for myself when i'm in a bad patch so instead i try do something nice for others like making my friend a bracelet. it's small but it's a start.

do you think you'll be safe tonight? 

[rav3n]

@Snowie just saw your other post - please don't apologise, you haven't said anything wrong. it is hard having those negative thoughts constantly weighing on us, but they will lighten up. it does take time - talking through it, being kind to yourself and not putting too many expectations on yourself are important too. please do reach out to Lifeline or SCBS, and 000 if you are unsafe. 

i'm still here to chat, you are not alone 💜

[Snowie]

@rav3n Im not sure

I'll go call

[rav3n]

sounds like a good call @Snowie i'm here in the meantime as well. have you had dinner yet?