Losing my mind

[Former-Member]

Hello All,

I've been on antidepressants (first SSRI then SNRI) for 2 years and on low doses of anti psychotics and high doses of tranquilisers. My life has slowed down so much, I don't recognise myself. There are negatives and some positives on the journey, but what really freaked me last night was trying, for the first time in ages, a sudoku puzzle, an easy one, which I would have done in the past by just scanning the page and filling in the right numbers. Last night I couldn't do it without writing down the missing numbers and I got two puzzles wrong, noticing I had the same number twice in the same square.

Is this temporary??!! Will I regain my mental capacity??!! I need this for my job and it really scared me 😖😕

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member

I had similar problems while i was on antipsychotics as well. My psychiatrist kind of dismissed it as not a problem but it was really frightening for me. Whem ive been severely depressed my brain turns to mush as well but not with a loss of intelligence/problem solving abilities like i had with anti psychotics. (not to say that they arent useful if they're needed for mi though 😞 ) Sadly, all the meds for mi seem to have side effects/ trade offs for what we have to put up with to try and get better physically. 

[Sahara]

Hi @Former-Member,

I think we all have minor 'brain malfunctions' from time to time. I'm certainly no expert on medications, but I believe high does of tranquilizers could slow down your thinking a bit. Can you ask your doctor about it? From what I have read, as soon as you stop taking tranquilizers, then your brain does recover.

If you are working and not finding it difficult to cope at work and you are getting everything done, then I think you must be alright? 

I remember when I was working in a high-pressure job, I was on very high doses of anti-deps and also taking tranquilizers and a mood stabilizer and I still felt incredibly anxious and edgy, but I could get through the day, amazingly.   I thought for sure that someone at work would notice I was drugged to the eye-balls or else a bit nutty, but no-one seemed to notice!!

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member and @Sahara

@Former-Member, I hope that comes true for me, it is really freightening!

@Sahara, I'm not working anymore, not sure when i will be able to get another job. Going through the legal battle at the moment.

I just wake every morning now, thinking I need to go to work and realising it's over. I feel so useless and worthless, this has all had so much impact on my MI. I just wanna stay in bed all day.