Idk what would be a good title

[The-red-centaur]

I havent posted here in a very long time. I joined about 6 years ago. I don't eveknow why I am here. 

I guess I am just writing one desperate thing before I say goodbye to life for good. 

I am so tired of trying to live. I can't even smile properly. Life just isn't worth it. So so long and thanks for the all fish. 

[NatureLover]

I am so happy to see you, @The-red-centaur ! I think of you and wonder how you're doing...are you still in WA? 

I'm sorry thought that things haven't improved for you 💔

Sending warm hugs - I know they won't help but I'm glad to see you here ❤️

[The-red-centaur]

@Former-Member @NatureLover 

Hi. Thank you for the reply. 

I ended up in hospital Thursday night. Was discharged and hurt myself last night. Today. Well I just feel tired. Tempted to harm again but at the same time I know it won't actually do anything.  The Dr at the hospital wants Mr to pursue an autism diagnosis but at 30 it's hard and my psychiatrist can't actually help. I feel stuck. Life is ok but I can't understand my emotions or human interaction, I don't enjoy anything and feel hopeless about a future.  

I'm not as suicidal today, I don't have the energy to go through with anything. 

[Jynx]

@The-red-centaur So sorry to hear that you're feeling this way, that is heavy stuff. I hope you are able to get lots of rest tonight, as it sounds like you're really sitting in a lot of exhaustion. It's reassuring to know that you are feeling less suicidal, but I am sad to know how hopeless you are also feeling. 

With the autism diagnosis, totally understand it could be a bit of a process - it's always hard getting diagnosed later in life. How are you feeling about the prospect of being diagnosed with ASD? 

[The-red-centaur]

@Former-Member irs ok. The reply was fine. I had a big reply I'd written to you and @Jynxme and @NatureLover I thought I'd posted but I realise my browser refreshed as I pressed reply and it cleared it all. 

I'd write it all again bit I'm not really up to it. Tbh I'm not ok at the moment. I reached out to my carer but he's gone to bed now. I feel like I can't do this. I'm scared to get him for the consequences. But there's consequences if I don't. I feel torn. 

I just want out or to hurt myself to make it stop. 

[The-red-centaur]

@Former-Member I contacted mental health emergency response line. It helped a little. 

I live with carers. They gave me some prn qnd I'm going to try to sleep 

[NatureLover]

@The-red-centaur  I'm glad you're living with carers... Hope you're coping OK ❤️

[The-red-centaur]

@NatureLover I'm not really ok. I'm currently waiting for an ambulance to get some medical attention.  I've been waiting 2 hours already. Urg. The government's need to something about health care. 

I tried holding on during the night but I just couldn't. I am really tired of everything. I'm tired of trying. 

[The-red-centaur]

I just got home. 

I don't want to deal with life rn. 

[tyme]

That sounds like such a tough space to sit in @The-red-centaur 

I hear there is a lot going on for you right now. Please know I am here if you need a chat.