I don't know where else to be heard but I am tired

[Judymay]

When the war doesn't end

When the war doesn't end and you can't find the peace or answers you thought that if you kept persevering you'd reach

Whats the point of not giving up if you are still left with nothing and the reality is that trying still meets defeat

I am running out of words, out of ideas, I wanted to be brave to keep my fight, prove that I didn't break

But what's the limit of tolerance one can expect to hold when regardless of the efforts there's no give and just take

I am unsure, I guess every warrior cannot run their race forever and needs a place at some point to rest and find respite

Maybe the dark will cease and the heaviness will ease, I don't know but try to recall the assurance the sunrise appears everyday with new light

I don't want to follow false hope and also don't want to revel in despair, this soldier is just tired and needs to lay its head

For now I have to put down the fight, I am pausing the endless war in ambition that maybe with a break my fight can reset

[rav3n]

i hear your exhaustion @Judymay also you have such a lovely way with words. i hope you can find some comfort in knowing that we hear you here. you are heard, you are seen and you are valued here always. 

i hope you're able to take a break now and 'reset' those energy levels, the fight can wait another day for sure. you matter first. sending you energy 💗

[Jynx]

Hey @Judymay, I am hearing you. It is indeed exhausting to fight, and I think the burn out we can face due to the work required of us to survive and recover is something not spoken about nearly enough. It is okay to put some things down, even therapy, just for a time so we can spend some time allowing ourselves the space to rest and reflect. Sounds like that's how you're feeling at present?

At times during my own recovery when I've felt stuck or burnt out, I have asked myself questions like, have I really not made progress or am I just expecting too much of myself, or looked at whether there's something in my support system that needs adjusting (like I needed to change therapists at one point because I realised I had gone as far as I could go with the style and skillset of the one I was seeing). Sometimes, as comforting as they are, we do need to break out of our routines, and take some time to reassess and figure out what our next steps might be. Even just taking like, a week off and going somewhere quiet and green (if that's an accessible option for you) can give our brains the space they need to reset, which means we can come back to tackle our problems with fresh eyes. 

Have you buzzed the SANE Support Line at all? Could be good to hash it out with someone and lay everything out on the table, maybe see if they can help you in identifying which of your needs are currently not being met/why you're feeling stuck, or they might have some unthought/unheard of avenue to explore. 

This is all just food for thought, and it's okay if you don't have the energy to engage with it at the moment. But your forums fam are here for you no matter what, always remember that!! I hope things shift for you soon 💜

[TinTin1]

You are worth it so much, I hear you about being tired. I'm tired aswell. Times I want to give up on myself.

I'm fed up of not having a job, no money. I'm tired of pushing myself to get somewhere in my life. 

But when I think about how blessed I am, having a nice partner who loves me. Though we're both struggling to find work.

I know you want to be heard about what you are going through. But when you listen to nature the whole world listens.

Thankyou so much for telling us what you're going, it definitely made me realises that there more to life then money, work titles etc.

[Dimity]

Hello @Judymay 

So sorry to hear you're at this point. I hope a short retreat will let you pause, reflect and find a new way forward.

You say

Maybe the dark will cease and the heaviness will ease, I don't know but try to recall the assurance the sunrise appears everyday with new light.

Yes... but in the darkness perhaps you'll find glimmers of starlight. 

Take care.

[Judymay]

Hi @Jynx 

thank you as I know burn out is real and I just never realised this is actually a type of burn out. I have had work burn out but this is new ground for me and identifying that I think is significant so thank you for helping my awareness. 

[Balkey]

Hello @Judymay 

wow, I read your post and felt that it summed up my current situation really well. I too feel the need for a respite. I hope you find your quiet place and can recover soon. 

“The soldier above all others prays for peace, for it is the soldier who must suffer and bear the deepest wounds and scars of war. Douglas MacArthur”

Best of Luck 

[Judymay]

 Thanks @Balkey 

so true and I'm sorry you are going through it because it's really not fun.

this morning I'm trying pump myself up to do basic tasks and try and eliminate that struggle 😂😂

[MJG017]

Hi @Judymay.  I definitely hear you as well.  That exhaustion is real and can seem like the only thing that is left to us at times.  That feeling that we need to 'bravely fight' on at all costs is so strong and pervasive, that it is so hard to see any other way, let alone ignore it!

If there's on thing i've learned that past year or so then it's that we do need to just take a break from the fight.  Sometimes it's just a day staring into space, or a drive in the countryside, or just have a laugh with some other people... it just needs to be anything that gets the mind onto something else for a little while.  The issues we have aren't going anywhere so it's perfectly okay to take a break when we can... they'll still be there and the fight can continue.  I've always found I tend to actually feel like i'm making progress when I don't feel so exhausted.  So why I feel like that, my priority becomes myself.

[Jynx]

Oh you are very welcome @Judymay I hope you are able to take the time you need to reflect and revitalise! Sending some warmth and big hugs your way 😊🫂💜