@MarronButterFly A belated Happy Birthday! I hope that your birthday was better than expected. It sounds awful to be dominated and excluded like that. I am really sad for you.
I do understand, in my own way, having to share my birthday with somebody else's event with them being narcissistic personality. It was always about them, and not even recognised that it was the only day of the year that I was supposed to be special.
I realise that your situation is a bit different with the controlling people actually being your siblings. Blood is supposedly thicker than water and family are supposed to be there for each other, right?
I have learned, eventually, after 50 years that that stuff is more rare than we expect. People don't necessarily have kind and supportive families. Like I said, it is a lot more common to have a toxic family than not. It is NOT you personally that has done anything wrong, or have anything bad about you! Nearly everyone has their own issues, but people deal with them in different ways. My experience is that a lot of people take it out on those around them, rather than face their own demons.
Sometimes it feels impossible, but please try to remember that they are treating you in an inappropriate way, it's not your fault!
It also doesn't necessarily mean that they are a bad person, so if you have weird mixed feelings about that person, that is pretty normal I would say. I have also found out that it's okay to have two opposing feelings towards a person, not weird. People aren't black or white I guess.
I really hate my birthday because of the past, but since that person is no longer in my life, I have tried to plan something special for myself, mostly done by myself and doesn't have to involve or have to depend on anyone else.
One of my birthdays, I got my first tattoo, on another I got my nostril pierced. Sometimes I see a movie. I prefer to do that alone, nobody chatting and commenting in my ear. (I'm trying to see the glass half full, rather than half empty). I could mourn the fact that I had to do those things alone, but the power of choosing to do something special for myself can be quite uplifting.
I guess it's too late for this birthday, but never too late to plan for the next one.
Take care, remember that you are just as special as everybody else. 🙂
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