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22-09-2014 05:04 PM
22-09-2014 05:04 PM
strangeness
Well I have no idea what has happened or how this came to be.
My darling wife has left me and made sure that I could not plea.
Forgiveness is all I ask
Police was all I could see
I haven't been able to speak to her
Or see that she is ok
Apparently my memory has hidden something horrible
A terrible thing I do not remember
Hatred fills me deeply for what I have been told<
Not for her or at her
But directed deep inside of me
I do not know where to turn to
As help I cannot find
I rang the crisis team
Please help was my plea
What do u need help with
Was all they would answer me
I don't know I said help from my insanity
they then informed me to speak to my gp
My parents came to help me and assist me you will see
They took my hand and led me to the doctor
And told me what I did
My wife my friend my confidant is reporting me for violence
when all I recall is sleep
How do I know what is real
When everything seems fake
my mind has slipped into the bleak
I no longer feel
I have no care for anything
except for reasons why
Why did I do such a thing that I do not recall
Why do I not remember anything
Why would she claim a falseness
Why
why
Why
It sounds like I am in trouble but I reassure you all I am fine
My dr has given me meds
And my parents will keep me safe
I promise to myself
that the pain will leave me
A new beginning is the expected outcome
But sad is all I will be
Until I can heal from losing her
My friend
I miss you so
but I know that you will be ok
I know that you are strong
I wish you all the happiness
For what your future holds
Thank you all
Please don't stress I am safe and well
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22-09-2014 05:24 PM
22-09-2014 05:24 PM
Re: strangeness
Your words speak loadly of pain and regret. I can not provide advice as I was once on the receiving end of such behavour and this was also a painful place to be. However your words also speak of hope - hope for support, hope for help to be the person you see yourself as being, hope for the well being of others. Whereas your journey may be difficult I hope you receive the support that enables you to be the person you can be proud of, a person that does not create pain for yourself or others. I hope your hope become a reality, let your healing continue and that you continue to be safe and well as you take stronger and stronger steps towards the new begining you seek.
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22-09-2014 05:42 PM
22-09-2014 05:42 PM
Re: strangeness
@kato I'm so sorry to read what's happening.
It sounds like you're in a bit shock with it all.
I couldn't put it better than how @Crystal beautifully put it.
It sounds like you're linked in with some services now - would that be right?
I hope the forums continue to help you through this time.
Take care.
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22-09-2014 10:29 PM
22-09-2014 10:29 PM
Re: strangeness
Take good care and go slowly, please give your wife the space she needs at this time, your previous posts have indicated she's niot the kind of person to have taken this step lightly. It will be painful, but it does get better..
Virtual hugs
Sandy
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24-09-2014 08:52 PM
24-09-2014 08:52 PM
Re: strangeness
Hi Kato,
Just checking in to see how you are?
And I also want to let you know that we are here for you.
CB
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26-09-2014 01:12 PM
26-09-2014 01:12 PM
Re: strangeness
I am ok just a little bummed out.
I got arrested last night about 5mins after taking my increased meds
Interviewed sent home and court date today
Result - some order where I cannot go near or contact. Except vie messages or with a cop
Good outcome I think
Thank you all for your nice words
My meds are wrecking havoc on me I bomb out alot so I apologize for not being on to return the support you have all graciously offered me.
I hope to stabilize and get back to being on here a little more to offer support to others.
Thank you again
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27-09-2014 03:57 PM
27-09-2014 03:57 PM
Re: strangeness
Thank you for your support I understand it is difficult to offer advice when you gave been on the other end to what I am going through.
Your words crystal meant alot to me, I really appreciate what you wrote.
Niknik again much appreciation for your kindness,
and yes hopefully getting in touch with some services.
Alessandra1992 yes it did have to take this turn for both my wife and I to get help.
You give the best virtual hugs and "virtual hugs back"
Cherrybomb this is such a fantastic and supportive forum and I will hopefully be back in flight again it will take time but I appreciate each and everyone of the members here.
I may not be able to offer advice but advice is sometimes not needed sometimes a rambled vent and just getting some understanding is all that is needed.
Thank you all again for your support
Kato
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27-09-2014 05:59 PM
27-09-2014 05:59 PM
Re: strangeness
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29-09-2014 10:17 AM
29-09-2014 10:17 AM
Re: strangeness
Thanks for the acknowlegement - that also means a lot to me.
I was once told that I didn't deserve a hug - this was a turning point for me - EVERYONE has a right to be hugged when requested and needed. Let me add my "virtual hug" to the others you have received - next time you are feeling "bombed out" imagine what a virtual, non judgemental, caring, playful hug might feel like. I am almost imagining one of those US football tackles where everyone piles on top of you in a heap. Know that there is enough of us to make a very large heap and the virtual weight of us all is something you may be able to feel when you are in that space.
Sounds to me like you are already "back in the fight" : your fight can offer inspiration to others who are struggling to visualise that things could be different.
take care Crystal
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30-09-2014 04:06 PM
30-09-2014 04:06 PM
Re: strangeness
"Virtual hug" to you.
I am back in the fight yes I am, I have got my mindset on mindfulness, the side effects of my meds are weakening
I am feeling great physically not so much but working on it going to start going for strolls in the evening
Mentally I have made some further queries into groups close to home so thankyou for your lovely words
Oh I too picture big tackle hugs lol dog pile I think they are sometimes called