Centaurs attempt at a new life

[saltandpepper]

Hey Centaur, really glad to hear from you. You're doing it tough but still fighting, I'm proud of you @The-red-centaur 

[The-red-centaur]

@saltandpepper hi. I fucked up tonight and back to one to one nurses. I'm sorry I'm such a failure and posted amidst the crisis. I was gonna stay offline til they moved me wards and I was a little more stable.
The mods sent me an email and the nurses also intervened so I guess it's good I did. But eh. Im sorry.

[saltandpepper]

@The-red-centaur You don't owe me or anyone else an apology Centaur. This is where you should be able to post when you're feeling like shit. And yes, a good thing mods reached out to you. Post here as often as you please and know I'll always check in with ya whenever I can.

Set backs, not fu*k ups, are part of recovery. It's not a smooth road, bound to hit some bumps along the way. You're alive, you're reaching out, those are good things my friend

[The-red-centaur]

From prescription medication
Scared to death and frustrated
Is tomorrow gonna be the same?
I'm scared to fcking death of change
The same old situation
Same old family, same addiction
My soul just writes it off, it's fiction
Wasting away
All that you say
Meaningless, hopeless if you're not okay
Wasting away
Hoping for something
No, nothing will ever change
I can't sleep
I can't live like this
A 3 a.m reflection I'll never forget
You overdid it
You let it take control
You got hooked on the feeling and never let it go
The same old situation
Same old family, same addiction
My soul just writes it off, it's fiction
Wasting away
All that you say
Meaningless, hopeless if you're not okay
Wasting away
Hoping for something
No, nothing will ever change
If I'm wasted
Oh, just face it
It's hopeless and I embraced it
Hoping for something
No, nothing will ever change
Empty handed
Hopeless hesitation
Family mirror with no reflection
A broken home
Beyond redemption
I'm done, so fckn done being wasted away
Wasting away
All that you say
Meaningless, hopeless if you're not okay
Wasting away
Hoping for something
No, nothing will ever change
If I'm wasted
Oh, just face it
It's hopeless and I embraced it
Hoping for something
No, nothing will ever change
Losing hope
About to break
But I'm not running away

Hopeless, nerv

[The-red-centaur]

@saltandpepper I'm so stuck....I don't wanna anymore. I'm tired. I can't get up. Recovery seems so far away that I don't I don't even want to try.

[saltandpepper]

I hear you @The-red-centaur I think the thought of working towards recovery can feel overwhelming. Take it back a notch, try not to think too far ahead. Just focus on today, focus on small things. When those thoughts start creeping in, slap em away and redirect your focus to anything else--art/people/making things/eating/anything. Do anything else to disrupt that thought process. Doesn't have to be big, even just like brushing your teeth, doing a lap up and down the hall, literally anything. When those thoughts flare up you do anything but listen to them. Just don't get caught up thinking down the road, you don't needa worry about it. Just focus on the little things, eat/sleep/talk/make, that's all. Nothing else. I know it's not easy Centaur, you've come so far, you've survived so much, you deserve to survive this too

[Anastasia]

Hey @The-red-centaur 

Its really good to see you. See you I do and I hear you too. I hear your pain. I'm so sorry you're in so much pain. I truly am. 😔💔

@saltandpepper 👋

[Anastasia]

I bought you a gift @The-red-centaur 

Its whatever you need whenever you need it...

Sending you love ❣️

Always in my thoughts.

I was at Officeworks yesterday. I love stationery. I saw the art supplies and immediately thought of you 🙏

[The-red-centaur]

@Anastasia ooooo I need new stationary. 😊
@saltandpepper thank you for being you

[saltandpepper]

Cheers @The-red-centaur I haven't always been a very good person. Trying to be better now. Glad to be here with you and help anyway I can