A long rave

[Appleblossom]

Actually it was really nice the young girl on the shift stuck with me through my mini attack.  I had not met either of them before, but connected quietly and quickly with the younger woman. We were both introvert and sciency types. She also could see the other lady was dreadfully attention seeking and how it developed. 

Earlier I had a good chat with my co-ordinator.  So I feel good re my general situation there.

But you never know whats around the corner.

I said a good bye to the noisy one, and will be friendly from a distance.

[outlander]

Thats wonderful @Appleblossom sounds like an overal lovley environment

[Mazarita]

@outlander, it's been another tough day here, mainly sleeping again. My mind is going too fast and in negative veins. My mantras are starting to fail. At least it's a soft warm bed I'm feeling that way in. But, I'm taking it all slowly and am okay. As always, trying to be patient with myself as much as possible.

Have you found a new GP? I used to very piecemeal with doctors, didn't care who I saw and only went when things were at their worst. These days I feel having a good GP who has known me over years, and good psychiatrist and psychologist, help keep me as sane as I can be with it all. I hope you can find better support structures over time. 

[outlander]

A soft warm bed makes things just a little easier @Mazarita are all these thought popping up because you stopped your medication or is there a trigger? Happy to listen if you need to talk at all ❤

I had a gp reccomended to me and i seen ber once before and she was alright bur i havent been. I cat seem to make that call. I went to the chemist tonight and was very close to panic walking past my gp thinking about making an appt. My gp and chemist are in the same building and next to each other. I just couldnt walk in there!
I know ill have to eventually go though. My psychiatrist appt isnt until September its the earliest they had and i made it a few months ago. Im on the waitlist for headspace for counselling as well.

[Appleblossom]

Everyone learns in different ways and has different strengths. @outlander It has been a very slow journey. I never had to worry about him speeding or driving under the influence, which is common with young men.  

It is good you and @Mazarita can share some frustration about physical issues when young.  Its not fair, but fighting the reality of your own body does not help.

So many times for me  ... when my mind is on high speed  ... mantras are not effective. I still believe and practise daily ... even if its "breathe" ... "gently" ... @Mazarita 

I was told by some guru that I needed a 3 syllable mantra to calm me down ... there was something in that .. I did ... om namah shivayah ... a lot!

Lovely to have your friendship too @outlander & @Mazarita

[Mazarita]

Good on you for organising what you have, @outlander. No beating yourself up over not making the call or being able to go in there. It will happen in time, when you're ready. 

I'm not really sure what is going with the bouncing around of negative thoughts and worries. It could be the med washing out. I only stopped taking it on Saturday. Or the anxieties and depression might be arising from something else. I'm not sure there was a trigger other than starting that med I've now just stopped.

I hope Headspace comes up for you soon. 

@Appleblossom, I've used that mantra you mentioned before too. I like the ones I've been saying in my mind in recent days: 'free', 'now', partly because they are words that have meaning in English. But with my brain the way it is at the moment, it sometimes takes those words and bounces them quickly around my mind too! I like 'breathe' and 'gently'. 

[outlander]

That is good re your son @Appleblossom youve taught him well too.

It is good we can share things. Im not fighting them so to speak but it has to constantly go through these battles. Just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other i suppose.

Im not really a mantra person so to speak but i often have to remind myself to 'breathe' i tend to do alot of breath holding. But it really does vary between each person and what matter most is that it helps that person to cope.
It is lovley to have your friendship too ❤

[outlander]

That is true @Mazarita thanks ❤
Brains are weird they dont need a reason to make life difficult. Does anything help when your in this sort of state?

[Appleblossom]

I used to cling to the mantras @Mazarita@  Now I am gentle with focussing. However if my mind is wired, I have to let it run its course. Its like a bucking bronco.  Needs a horse trainer .. ha ha @outlander  or a cleaner ... the thoughts have to be mopped up and the dirty water . .. down the drain ...

Lovely to talk but I am going to get ready for bed.

Good Night.

[Mazarita]

Goodnight, @Appleblossom. Sleep well bella. 

@outlander, what helps when I'm like this is sleep, lol. 

For tomorrow...

Hi @Exoplanet, thank you for that dazzling dandelion wish. Like something from a fairytale.  

Hi @eth, snoozing in front of the telly sounds relaxing. Hope Thursday is a good day for you. It's heading towards being that new day as I write now, close to midnight.