Lived Experience Forum

[Fredpolsen]

Hi, I just joined. I can't sleep. I'm just sad. I feel empty. I often feel ashamed of myself and I hate myself. I know I'm selfish and I kind of want to die. I'd never k!ll (website says I can't say the full word) myself though, I don't want to hurt my family. I know they love me a lot, but life is just so much. I'm a loser, I know it, no matter what anyone says I know it, I've accepted it. I hate pity, i hate when people brag about how much their life sucks. Which is what I'm doing now lol. But idk, I just want to say it to someone, because I can't talk to anyone about it, you know, because I just said I hate it when people do that. Obviously I know that there's a difference between expressing hardship and whining like I am. I'm not being critical of anyone on here but myself. Which is my point. I hate self pity yet I'm doing it right now because I'm selfish. I don't know. I'm not doing this to get advice or anything, I'll probably ignore any advice I get tbh. I'm not motivated in life to do anything, so ye. Maybe um just venting, idk. I just thought I should try this because I'm just disappointed in myself and how selfish I am. I would never tell people I posted on here, because once again, I'm ashamed. I just want to know what people think I guess. If this does get a reply or something which I doubt it will, pls don't sugarcoat anything. Just tell me what you think. I know I'm being cringe, but I'm lost and so hollow. I don't feel anything right now, just empty and sad and I want it to go away. I'm trying to decide whether I should really post this or not. If I do I know I'll be embarrassed about it, if I don't then idk. I'm sorry. I'm just sorry

[marchhare]

Hi there,

We wanted to take this opportunity to welcome you to the forums.

We hope that you find the forums a great place to connect with other members, share stories and ideas, and find the support and connection you deserve.

Feel free to Introduce yourself here if you haven’t already!

We look forward to seeing you around on the forums!

[lavenderhaze]

Hi @Fredpolsen 

I can relate to a lot of the thoughts you have mentioned and I emapthise with you ❤️

I'm really glad you reached out and shared your feelings here. It takes a lot of courage to be so open and honest. Please know you're not alone—many of us have felt the way you do now. It's okay to feel what you're feeling, and it's okay to vent. You're not selfish or a loser; you're a person going through a tough time. Take it one day at a time, and know that this community is here to support you.

[Joey4]

hey, I too am feeling the same, I am in quite a funk but together we can pull through, I got into my dream degree at uni and had a mental breakdown and have pretty much begin to reconsider my current life path. A change is needed but I am not strong enough. Apparently, in time things will get better, live day by day. I too have been having intrusive thoughts and therefore my sleep has been impacted. Sleep is fundamental for mental health.

SIncerely Joey4

[Asgard]

Hi @Fredpolsen 

Welcome to the forums and good on ye for posting how ye really feel, the first post is the hardest.  So you having a bit of a rant about how shit you feel, guess what you are human and we all want to have a bit of a whinge at times. 

From reading your post, ye don't seem to like yourself at all, why is that? what have ye done that makes ye feel like that?

Have to admit that your honesty about your feelings and how you might react to any proposed advice is novel and made me smile a bit.  

So what is eating you up that makes you feel that you are a selfish person?

How can we help...........Asgard