Winter solstice

[Dimity]

@NatureLover the agency applicant didn't get back to me in the promised time frame so I guess she can't/won't help, which isn't surprising. 

I'll be back to trauma therapy Monday after several weeks' break. I don't think I'll be able to do the full program as my trauma doesn't seem to fit into the treatment parameters.  And there's a time limit. It's not renewable like a MHCP.

Yesterday I noticed the new gardener had poisoned my native groundcovers in the common garden... almost the last vestiges of what I'd planted. He's also recommended removing the tussocks I'd planted as habitat and foliage contrast. 

[NatureLover]

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@Dimity wrote:

I'm in a muddle @NatureLover and not sure what direction I'm headed in. Spoke to a potential helper today and realised I must have sounded desperate. They'll get back to me tomorrow. 

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Sorry - I didn't see a notification for this message on Thursday @Dimity 

And then your message last night saying the potential helper didn't respond - I'm really sorry. 😢

"Yesterday I noticed the new gardener had poisoned my native groundcovers in the common garden... almost the last vestiges of what I'd planted. He's also recommended removing the tussocks I'd planted as habitat and foliage contrast."

I was horrified by this - although I don't know why, your neighbours (plus new gardener!) are shocking and destructive 😣

Good luck with your trauma therapy starting up again on Monday... How much more time have you got with the psychologist? 

Sending care and hoping that today is a better day for you 🤞

[Dimity]

Thanks @NatureLover .

I'll go back to the applications and make another shortlist but their hourly rates are much higher. My main concern now is getting through the next couple of months, which coincides with time running out for the psychologist. 

My nextdoor neighbour and I don't understand the mindset of the people destroying the garden. It's not just our place, it's happening throughout the neighbourhood. He told me today 3 trees were just cut down two streets away. 

Tomorrow it would be nice to reset, and start next week on a more hopeful note. I trust you'll have a good day  and a better week, too.

[NatureLover]

I understand, you want to get through as much decluttering as you can before your surgery - and the psychologist finishing coincides with that? @Dimity 

I also don't understand the mindset of destroying the garden. It's very sad. And I always feel sad when trees are cut down. 

Sorry to hear the hourly rates of the other helpers are higher than the one you contacted 😣

Thanks for your good wishes. I hope you can 'reset' as you'd like today...

[Dimity]

@NatureLover yes at the beginning the psychologist told me her practice aims to give people only a certain length of treatment. I'm not sure how strictly they follow it, but the end would coincide with my surgery date. 

It won't be easy to meet my deadline. My back was pretty sore today and it was hard to face the walk home from the shops. But the main problem is getting organised. 

Fingers crossed tomorrow will be a good day. 

[NatureLover]

I'm sorry your psychologist treatment ends in under 2 months, @Dimity  😢

Also that your back is so painful. I wish it would ease for you. 

Yes, I hope today is a better day for you and you can get organised as you want. 

[Dimity]

Hello @NatureLover I'm taking each day as it comes re the trauma therapy and hoping for an extension if necessary. It's hard work but I think it will be worth it. I'm making progress. 

My back and what I guess is sciatica have been bad. I see a specialist about other but perhaps related issues tomorrow after I was offered a last minute cancellation. I'm nervous but grateful.

Dealing with the house feels overwhelming as always but exacerbated by the deadline. The support agency has offered a couple more applicants. I have mixed feelings, wanting help, thinking helpers would find it too difficult, and anticipating problems in deciding what to do. I can't lift heavy boxes and perhaps need a separate removalist. 

So much anxiety. But one step at a time. At least I have a sense of trying to move forward again. I'll persevere with therapy, see what the specialist says, and follow up with the applicants.

[NatureLover]

Ooh, I hope you can get an extension for your therapy with the psychologist 🤞

I've heard sciatica is very painful 😢 Are you nervous about what the specialist today might say? 

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@Dimity wrote:

I can't lift heavy boxes and perhaps need a separate removalist. 

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I saw something on my local community Facebook page a couple of days ago, and bookmarked it: a rubbish removal service which consisted of a ute with a large, tall wire area at the rear. They said it was cheaper than a skip. Do you think your local area might have something similar? Would probably do transport to an Opp Shop too maybe?

I feel for you with your anxieties. Good luck with the specialist today, and with deciding about the 2 applicants... 🤞

@Dimity 

[Dimity]

@NatureLover it's been an eventful week healthwise, now I just have to get through the next week until another hospital visit and I can get back to "normal". The specialist asked today how my MH was bearing up after the problems which was good of her. 

This week has been a write-off re decluttering,  and the chore backlog has built up as I've not done much. Tomorrow I have paperwork to deal with as it's built up again with the hospital admissions. Overwhelm again. All I can do is to chip away. Yet I wonder if there's some other way to meet my goal. 

[NatureLover]

I can hear how much you'd like things to go back to normal, @Dimity . Are you in lots of pain? 😢

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@Dimity wrote:

The specialist asked today how my MH was bearing up after the problems which was good of her. 

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Is your MH bearing up? 

Sorry you feel overwhelmed. You are amazing to keep chipping away. An inspiration.