Oscillation between two mind sets

[tyme]

Hey @creative_writer ,

And that's okay. 

For me, there was a stage were I had 3 therapists. Each person had their own strength. To one psych, I'd work on certain things, and with the other, I'd work on something else. Then with the 3rd, I'd work on something else again. 

No one ever fully understood me, and I didn't expect that. If I expected it, then everyone would be a failure.. because I didn't even understand myself!!!!

Hence, take what you can from each whether it is a psych, a counsellor, a support line, a forum....

[Former-Member]

Gently, you matter just as others do @creative_writer 🌺

Kindly, there comes a time when looking after you is what matters 💜🙂

[creative_writer]

@tyme I have a peer support worker too who understands what it is like to experience trauma. Though will only be with him for a few more calls before wrapping up. I am planning on joining the guided service once I’m eligible, which will be in July. I know I have access to SANE support line too, I feel like I might need to reach out more often, I don’t reach out often enough.

@Former-Member I’m learning to put myself first. I do find that I am better off reaching out to those outside my immediate family. It’s not a trust thing, but parents have a tendency to get too emotionally involved and that’s natural. I guess it’s different with every family. I’ve had friends say why don’t you talk to your mum, I just can’t. I’m glad they are able to

[Former-Member]

That’s great @creative_writer , learning and practicing putting yourself first is really good to hear 🙌🏻🙂🌺

and I personally think that you reaching out to wherever you feel most able to reach out to is completely fine, and it doesn’t have to be a parent or family member if you don’t want it to be 🙂💜

Its certainly lovely if people do feel comfortable telling their parents, but that isn’t the same for everyone, and so reaching out to other places of support is perfectly fine too 🌺

you take care of yourself, and I hope you get some rest tonight. Catch you next time, and always remember you have support here 🙂🌺💜

[creative_writer]

@Former-Member I am learning, doing something that doesn't come natural is hard. I hope you are doing well ❤️

I am feeling rather confused and lost today, I'm okay, I can't shake off the fear. How does one feel safe with the uncertainty of the future? Maybe I am thinking too far ahead, but I can't shake off the fear, there is no risk of getting hurt anytime soon, but you never know about the future

[PizzaMondo]

Hello @creative_writer 🙂

These questions that you ask today and that are on your mind are so very valid... although I can't help but think.. this uncertainty about and for the future.. this is exactly what is anxiety.

You asked, "how does one feel safe with the uncertainty of the future?"

I ask, 'how do you feel safe with the uncertainty of the future' - and while it appears I am just throwing the question back to you, I want to encourage you to stay in the now, stay in the present, what is going on RIGHT NOW for you, maybe it's feeling funny or some way in some area of your body..

For me, this question comes up often, so I can absolutely empathise! But it's a reminder that PizzaMondo has turned too much inwards, and not in a self-reflection way, but like a turtle gone hiding in its shell, so I allow myself to sit with that feeling of uncertainty, and try to gain control over it. What am I afraid of? (especially when I cannot predict the future)..

What are your thoughts?

[Former-Member]

Hey there @creative_writer 🙂💜

Yes, doing something that hasn't been done before/something that doesn't come naturally is certainly an unfamiliar feeling, and can be uncomfortable, and uncertain, as we learn... but, gently stretching beyond what has till now been so familiar, within your window of tolerance, is part of how we can build more resilience, coping, and have a greater sense of autonomy 🙂 At least, that is how it felt for me.

It isn't so easy though, and it is a bit scary at times...and I can really understand why you'd feel uncertainty about the future because when things are changing, we kind of never know where we are headed till we can see how the changes are affecting us and the things/people around us... the first step is starting, then given a little while, we can see how it is going, and the fear can then hopefully reduce when there's more idea of how things are moving forward.

The main thing is making sure you are safe, while also developing your sense of internal safety, too, from what I am hearing (please do feel free to let me know if I am missing the mark here 🙂 ). I went through such emotional shaky ground when trying to recover from trauma, and it was very scary, but once I started developing a decent sense of self worth, value, and acknowledged all the things that were impacting me for me to work on, I found a start from which I could move forward from 🙂 

And we are always here, holding space, sitting with you in those moments where things seem overwhelming, anytime you need 🙂

Im ok thanks, I am dancing with joy inside because I have just had my printer issue fixed that I have had since the beginning of December 2023, so after a near 5 months I am moved beyond happiness with technology right now hehe 😉

I hope you can feel a bit better as the day progresses, and always know your team here on the forum is in your corner xx 🙂

[creative_writer]

@PizzaMondo I know I need to learn to be more present. But I think my mind won't stop going to places since the recent triggers. I don't think my heart can take a repeat of history, it's been through enough.

I probably should get back to uni, being stuck in these thoughts is not doing me any good

[Former-Member]

Hey there @PizzaMondo 🙂

Just want to say how helpful your post is - I have just been reminded of one of the best ways to manage the anxiety of the future otherwise unknown, in a very neatly packaged text box 🙂

Thank you xx

@creative_writer 🙂 🌺

[creative_writer]

@Former-Member I think having internal safety is really important. I don't feel that internal safety, hence maybe that's why it's hard to feel safe with people. I just hope with time I won't feel so anxious all the time. I know there is nothing wrong with being cautious, but living life while hyperviligant all the time probably isn't the way to go. A lot of the time we don't even have control whatever happens, it's frightens me.

Glad to hear that the printer issue has been fixed 🙂