@itsmehuntre Yep, it would get confusing, so we'll just continue here. It's only normal for everything to feel overwhelming right now. It's still very new to you only having had this happen a few weeks ago. And your mind will be ties up just trying to make sense of things so thinking about anything else right now will probably be a bit of a challenge.
I was diagnosed with aggressive prostate cancer just over 2 years ago when I was 51 and by July last year things seemed to be going okay. Then a result in December showed I had become resistant to the main front line therapy used to hold the cancer back
almost straight away. I'm not on a different drug that is holding it back for now, but none of these drugs work forever, so every three months I have a blood test to see if it is still working. When this one stops working, then things get desperate. Once this cancer leaves the prostate a cure is out of the question.
So the 28th December last year, when I got that result, I dont mind admitting I was a complete mess. I've only really gotten into a better place by deciding to use my experience to help other people and raising awareness over the past few months. I've even done some media recently and so it has really helped me to find some positives in a pretty difficult situation. So i've gone from someone who never talked about anything to anyone in their life to someone who will just endlessly bang on about my every little though, fear and worry to anyone who will listen, and even those who don't want to 😁 All in the past few months. It definitely changes you. Of course being on a drug for the rest of your life that gets rid of all testosterone probably makes a difference as well 🤣
The first thing you learn with anything like this are who your real friends are. It sucks but it happens to most of us. Some will surprise you in a good way, and others, not so much. The upside is you then have people around you that you know you can count on. Clearing out the dead wood so to speak.
You don't have to know how to respond or reply, your thoughts are probably just still all over the shop. But just talk about anything and eventually those responses will come to you. Just dont try to keep them to yourself. It will grind away at you mentally. So even if it's just the person closest to you, just talk to them. Even if it just to say you don't know what to think or what to do.
There will definitely be good days and there will be bad days. Sometimes the good days will trigger the bad days because it will remind you when there werent bad days! In time, hopefully you can increase that ratio of the good, or just better, days to the bad ones.
Try to keep doing the things you enjoy as it will give you a mental break from the depression and anxiety. Some days you may not feel like doing anything, but that's okay. It's like grieving the lost of a loved one, only this time the loved one is your old life. Like any grieving process it takes time. It never goes away, but it becomes more and more manageable. But they key is to let people close to you in. Like it or not, they're in this with you.
A lot of people find things like going to the gym, getting as healthy as they can helps a lot. I mean, I even joined a gym late last year! A gym!! Me!!! I barely recognise myself anymore. I even drink mainly water now! Who is this person?! 🤣
i also found a men's mental health group nearby that I started going to a while back. I've found this really helpful as they're a great bunch of guys and I can tell them i'm really struggling and especially when I feel like i'm dumping too much on my partner. Its also great to tell them when i'm feeling better and hearing their support. So i'm not sure if there's anything like that around you.
Sorry again that you've been put in this position, but know that, at the very least, you have people here that you can talk to about however you're feeling and that we understand, because we've all been in our own mental deep holes.
