@Ellie Glad you are both coming through a tough time.
Friendship issues, rejection and grudge holding is tricky .. context is everything ... if that person was sitting in a cushy situation with nice place, nice job and os holidays it would be different ... but she was obviously marginalised and struggling.. not all "behaviours" are the same, even if they look similar.
Its funny about our personal stuff ... I repair and hang onto some stuff for sentimental reasons ... but I guess when its gone its gone.
Take care 