29-07-2014 09:49 PM
29-07-2014 09:49 PM
Greetings everyone
I am prepared to be open about my experiences in the appropriate circles, but don't think for one minute that I run around the neighbourhood telling everyone my story!
I would describe myself as introverted and a bit of a loner. I don't much like labels because mental illness doesn't define who I am. I have lived since childhood with anxiety and depression, and I have had a few breakdowns due to bullying at school and work, as well as enduring domestic violence in my first marriage (which also affected my son, who is now 34). When I get stressed I count things repeatedly, and do puzzles to calm my mind. I have also experienced panic attacks and PTSD. In 2006 I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder II. Up until then I somehow managed to hide this messed up side of myself from the medical profession.
But, as they say, once the cat was out of the bag, I fell in a total heap. I couldn't work any more. I was put on a Disability Support Pension and my second, wonderful husband became my full-time carer. I couldn't leave the house, and tended to lay in bed for up to 18 hours a day. I couldn't understand how this had happened. I lost a lot of functions that people take for granted. I couldn't cook, I couldn't drive my car, I needed my husband to remind me to have a shower and take my medication.
HOWEVER, I am a good news story as well. It has taken me some time to regain my functionality, but since that time (and with the support of a mental rehabilitation service), I went back to full-time education. I started with a Cert III in Education Support, followed by a Diploma of Community Health, and for the past year I have been working part-time as a Peer Worker in the area of mental health. It is very rewarding work. I have also developed an interest in advocacy and am also a member of the Community Advisory Committee of our local hospital. I know it all sounds good, but my biggest achievement was regaining my confidence to drive again.
When I became so ill, I never imagined any future for myself. It definitely takes time and effort but I believe that if I can do it, then anyone can.
I look forward to reading all your posts and replying to as many of them as I can.
29-07-2014 10:57 PM
29-07-2014 10:57 PM
30-07-2014 10:45 AM
30-07-2014 10:45 AM
Hi Amber,
Thanks for sharing your story, good on you for being able to get back to work and hold down a job. I think the labelling issue is more for the health worker's benefit than ours. I fit into any number of 'labels' but I have a different theory on things: Society needs to be organised, so we have rules, some say it is 'rules or anarchy.
Because of my illnesses, I can quite easily 'think outside of the square' when it comes to logic or reasoning, often to the point that other people (I think) feel uncomfortable being around me. I believe this is to do with their insecurity, not mine. I am happy to have my own opinions on subjects (after all opinions are just points of view) but I have noticed some people are not comfortable with any other opinion but their own.
It is my strongly held belief that there are people out there in society who have serious unresolved mental health issues, but have not had the courage (or any other reason) to face a clinical examination for fear of getting a 'label'.
It is my therapist's opinion that the level of mental health issues in society is much greater than the statistics would reflect. So people without a label can hardly be complacent about the fact that they may qualify for a clinical diagnosis/es if they ever presented for analysis!
So credit goes to everyone on this forum (and others who have a 'label') for facing themselves in therapy!
Regards, Jake
30-07-2014 07:55 PM
30-07-2014 07:55 PM
Thank you for sharing your story, it is really wonderful that you have been able to really reach such a positive place in your life and now to be helping others that are dealing with similiar problems.
I understand how hard it can be. I am kind of in the place where I struggle with so many of the everyday things and don't like to leave the house. So it is good to know, someone that has been there has been able to actually lead a life and that there is a future.
30-07-2014 10:08 PM - edited 31-07-2014 05:20 PM
30-07-2014 10:08 PM - edited 31-07-2014 05:20 PM
Hi Dean (cool name) (cool photo):smileyvery-happy:
Thanks for your post (and to others as well to the thread I started). I often question my life metaphysically and philosophically. I am ordinary, born in the 1950's, and I don't think I was destined to be anything special. I am just a survivor. I have to keep trying every day to make things work for me. Getting out of bed is still difficult for me because that is my safe place. But in opposition to that, I have trouble sleeping and I have horrific nightmares. I take medication and have accepted I need ongoing support from doctors, psychiartrists, and I now have a great psychologist as well. If you need help, grab hold of everything on offer. It makes a difference and you will see slowly see improvements. I am not as 'sharp' as I used to be - probably from the medication - but I have learned to live with it.
See my post in the carer's forum about stigma if you want - it gives more detail of only a small part of what I've experienced.
For those who find they can't do much at the moment, I do understand because I've been there myself. But please try and do one small enjoyable thing each day - watch a comedy movie or go for a walk. This is how we slowly regain our confidence. It is never easy and requires commitment.
I am not a counsellor or health professional but I do know that setting small goals and achieving them is a sign you are recovering and it gives you a great feeling of satisfaction.
When you are able to let go of the past and start afresh from where you stand now, you will notice you can achieve things you never thought possible.
Amber
30-07-2014 10:31 PM
30-07-2014 10:31 PM
Hi Jake
I agree with all that you say. We can also have 'mother' 'son' 'teacher' 'consumer' etc. etc. Children from a young age are taught to name animals, vegetables and minerals. We accept names, but when it comes to disease there is still a fear associated with it. Especially mental illness. And, if you've heard of the DSM-V you will most likely agree that the world's population is included in there one way or another. They labelled all the adults and now they're labelling children with one form of diagnosis or another.
Talking Therapy may be confronting but I have found it helpful - assuming you can find the right match for you. It took me three times to find a psychologist I clicked with. I use it to help with my personal growth and it has helped me moved forwards after being 'stuck' in the past for so many years.
It wasn't my intention to say 'hey look at me now'. It was more like, 'don't write yourself off, like I once did'. We all have potention. Persevere.
All respect to you for living your own truth.
Kind regards, Amber.
30-07-2014 11:04 PM
30-07-2014 11:04 PM
31-07-2014 01:32 PM
31-07-2014 01:32 PM
Amber that was a great message you sent to us. I'm 35 & have had similar issues & [being over 18 in this society!!] feel like no spring chicken sometimes & start to think I can't pull it together, too many steps back & not enough forward etc but you are a role model. Thanks a lot for sharing that.
31-07-2014 05:14 PM
31-07-2014 05:14 PM
Hi amber,
Good on you for straight-from-the-heart-of-experience encouragement. Thanks.
I've also had huge progress with "talk therapy" help, likewise I agree that the right professsional for the individual is hard to overrate - and certainly worth persisting until you find the match.
Regards,
Kristin
31-07-2014 05:15 PM
31-07-2014 05:15 PM
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