A long rave

[Sophia1]

hello @outlander

I hope that you can get off of the merrygoround soon...

not sure if you find helplines helpful when you are feeling that way...some do some don't

I am quite sure that you have some coping techniques that you have worked out suit you...

whatever...if it get's too rough...always reach out to someone...

you are so very much worth it...xxx

[outlander]

thanks @Sophia1 im trying my best to cope

[Mazarita]

Hi @eth, you guessed it, I've been sleeping all day so missed your earlier post. However, some slight improvements today. During one short wake break I brought in all the washing off the line that I did the other day, folded, ready to be put away. During another short wake break, I did another load of washing, that's hanging out there now. Also, I've been sleeping in the armchair since about midday instead of in bed, which seems like some small improvement from being in bed almost all day and night. Trying to take the positives and grow them, I guess. Didn't go to the art event last night, just was not up to it at all. It's okay. We are planning a trip to Brisbane in a couple of weeks to see that same friend who lives in the other town. It's a book launch this time. With any luck, this heaviness will have lifted by then.

Hope your day has been okay. Thank you for the pink, perfumed lilies. Glad you were able to scramble for teeth and present yourself clothed for the fly screen guy. Great that you are getting fly screens! 

@everyone, hope this evening unfolds well for all.

[Mazarita]

Hi @Exoplanet, @CheerBear, got your 'like' notifications just now that we're home again, after a quick after-work visit to our friend's place. Wondering how you're both going tonight. You too, @outlander.   

[CheerBear]

Hey @Mazarita

It's good to hear you've had some improvements today and go you with the washing. I am guessing it might take a while to get used to no more anti-psychotic especially if you've taken it for a long time but hopefully you see more of the improvements soon. Big hugs.

I am feeling a bit blue tonight. I don't think I can call it an out of the blue, blue day if it lingers much longer. I have an extra annoying feeling as if I should be happy and should feel a bit better after the c-link thing too, but I don't yet. Hoping time will help - always hoping that one will help lol. So that's me and how I am going tonight. Thank you for the tag and the hi.

I missed a couple of tags this morning so hi to all. Hoping the evening is a good one/one with good ❤

[Mazarita]

Hi @CheerBear,

Understandable that you might feel blue at the moment. For one thing it may be stress recovery from nervousness and insecurity about it for some time. Also, it takes a bit of processing a new perspective on our lives. Remember that we can come off that thing from Centrelink at any time it is no longer needed. I hope you have lots of fluffy things around to comfort you just now. Big hugs from me too. 

Overall unwell is how I feel. But better tonight than I was earlier today. I put away the dry washing, tidied the kitchen and got the dishwasher going before C came home. Had a thorough wash and put on fresh clothes too. Phone call with rental agent and aircon guy, to arrange a time next week. Then C drove us to our friend's place. I took some time alone with the night sky in her backyard. Beautiful moment in the day. 

[CheerBear]

I'm so tired and maybe it is that stress recovery @Mazarita. It's definitely a new perspective too, like a sinking crash at the reality of what all of those reports and assessments say and what they mean and how I can't not accept that now. I feel really sad to think of what I was doing not too long ago and what I can't do anymore. Thank you for understanding and hugs.

Seems like you've managed quite bit today even though you've been feeling unwell. I read some of the conversation last night and had that feeling of wanting to send you my hearing you and thinking of you thoughts. Is this depressive state you're in the kind of place you've been in before? As in a bipolar depression (clunky words sorry!)?

Love the thought of you having a moment with the night sky at friend's house 😊 It's a very clear night here, which I've been looking at too. I have my fluffy dressing gown, fluffy blanket and lots of stars (and heaps of traffic for some reason!) with me.

[Mazarita]

@CheerBear,

I hope we can disbelieve the limitations that have been described of us in such reports. I try to remember that these labels and written reports have had a practical purpose in our lives, as evidence of our need at this current time, as a passage to healing, or at least less stress in our lives. They don't describe us at our best and they can't see into the future. 

I have been in this depressive unwell place at other times in my life, and I tend towards it at the best of times, I think. I slept about 20 hours a day for about nine months at one time. That was about ten years ago. I am hopeful things won't go on like this for that long though. It's been about five weeks of it at this point but I will be seeing my psychiatrist again before too long. And I'll keep trying to do things etc etc etc, lol.

Lovely to think of you watching the sky tonight too. I was checking out the Southern Cross, Mars (close to Earth at the moment), Venus, a part of the Milky Way. Imagining the vast outward distances between stars. 

[CheerBear]

You have such a gentle way of reminding me (us) of those different ways to look at things @Mazarita, thank you 💗 The 'this is where I am not who I am' belief I hold will come back.

20 hours a day for that long is sort of scary to think of. That would be so hard. I hope for you it does ease up soon so you can keep doing what makes you feel good. Celebrating all of trying and the steps forward with you in the meantime.

I can't get my head around how massive is up there in the sky. I think I stop getting it at about cloud level haha. I do enjoy thinking that so many people may be looking at the same sky from all over the place right at any moment. It feels like connection.

[Mazarita]

I love that idea of humans being connected through seeing the sky, all in one moment

@CheerBear

It might be time to watch some TV now I think. I have a liquorice tea to drink, delicious sweet herbal tea. Enjoy the fluffy comfort around you, CB, and sleep well when you get there.