Coping Toolbox ( what is in yours to help you cope )

[Jynx]

@Healandlove you are very welcome hun. I think the very fact that you have this concern, that you're not just like "Oh this is normal behaviour!", is in itself a benefit too. I think if you were just to rollover and try to make it ok or explain it away, then that would be teaching your kids that they ought to respond to aggression in the same way. Instead, you're teaching them not only that it's not okay to treat people that way, but also that humans are complex, and deserve compassion even when they're being big screamy meanies. 

Ach such complex lil creatures ain't we!! 

I agree with you as well - @Shaz51 presence is preferred to positivity!! Oooh yay alliteration 😋 Hehe. But yeah like... great examples all over the forums of this - like when someone is struggling with suicide ideation, we as a community typically aim to gather around them and be there with them, rather than trying to make it all okay or resolve it for them. Reckon that's an attitude you could try to bring into these moments?

[Shaz51]

@Jynx , @Healandlove 

That is great advice @Jynx 

I think I used vibes and body language to express myself  that my husband knows when there is a point 

Yes , at times I do feel loneliness and sometimes I feel like a mum than a wife 

Learning more about adhd, asd is helpful 

He loses things and spent 2 hours turning the house upside down tonight looking for it 😅

[Jynx]

@Shaz51 omg hahaha hello me, I do that! And for stuff that isn't even that important too, like I get locked onto the task of finding it even if it doesn't matter that much!! 

That sucks, feeling more mum than wife at times. Be a tricky one to talk to Mr Shaz about too, that RSD can be gnarly, be soooo hard for him not to take it personally.... do you think it's worth broaching the topic or nah?

[Shaz51]

Ha ha yep Mr shaz every day 😍

RSD stands for? 

Sounds like a good topic , not sure how to do a introduction , would you like to help me @Jynx 

[Jynx]

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria @Shaz51 more info here if you're curious!! Be happy to help you out!! I am about to log off so maybe tomorrow? Do some brainstorming hehe

Niiiight 💜

[Shaz51]

Great @Jynx 

Brain storming tomorrow my friend 🧡 

Sleep well and see you tomorrow 

[Zol]

Re Coping.

I tey to have a routine, but im not great at it.

So I find something that I've neglected / not done for a while / bothering me and I resolve it. 

This could be doing the dishes, or tidying an area that needs it. Recycling or disposing of things I no longer want or need.

• Other strategies for coping are: eating a simple yet nourishing breakfast,
• Simple exercise like going for a walk or a hike. 
• Sometimes I'll message a friend, go to a cafe, dig up some weeds, visit my parents.
• Connecting with others is good, but I think this is something many of us struggle to do, (so this SANE forum is a great place to get some connection).

[Jynx]

Happy Wednesday dear @Shaz51 how has your day been hun? 

[Jynx]

Oh yes yes yes @Zol what a splendid idea!! Taking care to nurture what has fallen by the wayside sounds like a pretty good overall life philosophy too! 

Have you gotten stuck into any interesting 'neglected' projects of late? I'm curious cos I'm in the midst of de-cluttering and always like hearing others' tales!

[Shaz51]

Hello 😊 @Jynx 

Thank you for the information you sent me last night , very interesting 

Today Mr shaz had a dentist appointment 

Travelling 30 minutes there and back in the pouring rain 🌧 

Lots of  flooding around up here cutting the highway in some parts , but we are OK 

A lot better day today